Choices

In everyone's lives, there are choices. Choices that we make that change the way we think and look at things. Sometimes the choices we make are the wrong ones, sometimes the right ones. Sometimes we make choices for the wrong reasons, and sometimes we become so afraid of what will happen that we try to avoid them altogether. I myself am terrified of making the wrong choices. With every question presented to me, I panic. I feel my heart jump in my chest, and I feel my breakfast jump as well. Sometimes I think that I jump to conclusions and go with the easiest way out which, in the end, is not always so easy.
Today I had to make a hard choice. Several, actually, seeing as I just took a multiple choice test. But I had to make a choice that really was painful, although the right thing to do. At times such as these, I hate and love my diabetes. I hate it because it provides me with so many choices and questions, all of which I cannot turn down for any reason. Trust me, I've tried. I love it because it is a (semi) stable part of my life. I can always trust that diabetes will be there for me no matter what, and in a terrible way, it comforts me. When I am bombarded with all the uncertainty of life as a human being, I can always know that diabetes is the one thing in my life that will not be uncertain because it will always be there. I'm not saying that I don't want a cure. I want a cure so badly it hurts. But until that day, I can make a choice. Do I want to be at war with my diabetes every day? Or do I want to accept myself for being me, and learn to love my diabetes? Now this choice, I can answer with ease.